It happends when your not expecting it.
I sat there at the airport in Bankok, waiting for the flight to Burma.
I had my little travel bag right in front of my feet, some monks and three women sat waiting beside me. I heard they had a conversation in their language; they seemed to be quite excited. I had just bought a ticket to get out of Thailand for the weekend to stay a bit longer in the county as my three mounts were over.
I could feel one of the women that looked at me a lot and smiled to me wanted to connect. But I was so profoundly experiencing a deep state of beingness, and I didn't want to get disturbed.
She sat in the middle of the three women, and now I understood that they were talking about me.
I smiled as I meet the eyes of the women sitting in the middle.
She saw that I held my ticket in my hand and now she leaned forward to ask me a question,
What did your ticket cost madam? She asked.
Three pair of eyes looked at me as they all were wondering.
I told them the price in Bath, and they started to discuss their tickets.
I closed my eyes to go in further, and now, at this point, I was with my inner flame.
Oh, fuck here? Really?? Now??
I was flowing deeper within all got still inside of me.
All I could do was to be with it, despite all that happened around me.
I felt threatened for a bit as well as if I had some fear of someone could blow out my candlelight within. So I held and held it with compassion.
All of me went into this white light. My head lightened up like a pure white ball of fire.
A few moments later, I heard the ringing from the airport speaker, and they asked us to get ready to go onboard.
A little with the feet in both worlds I handed my ticket, the stewardess asked me about the visa.
I have none, isn't it so that I buy that at the airport in Myanmar?
No, you have to apply here in Thailand, it can take some time to get an answer.
You cannot go on this flight.
I was unaffected.
I went out of the gate and to the ticket store and bought a ticket to Cambodia,
the woman that sold it there ensured me that I could obtain a visa as soon as I was there.
I forgot about the happening until I got back to Thailand.
Back in Bankok, I decided to take a taxi the 2,5-hour drive back to Hua Hin
At first, the taxi driver did not speak, but he played good music in the car, so I was humming along. I saw that he looked at me in the mirror, you like it, madame? He said and took the volume up after I had nodded my head.
I felt relaxed for the first time in two days so in this giddy state I started to talk to him, he said I don't speak English very good madam.
I understand you I told him.
And in this 2,5 hours, we were babbling about everything from family matters to food and music. We even stopped at a 7/11 shop to get something to drink and to use the restroom.
It was now I started to understand what I had gone through at the airport.
I had turned my lights on.
- It comes to you,
intensely and far from how/when you expect it.
( Pict taken when I arrived the apt in Hua hin that day.)